Every Chipotle In The Country Is Closing On The Same Day In February To Hold A Company-Wide Food Safety Meeting

If violent, unforgiving diarrhea speckled with drops of blood is your calling in life, then sorry but we’ve got some bad news for you: Chipotle is reportedly trying to fix their casual little E. coli problem. Actually that should be obvious — no restaurant in their right minds wants an E. coli problem, particularly since the number of people who love E. coli shits pales in comparison to the number of people who love Chipotle shits. One involves blood, a cramping stomach and a butthole that feels like it’s been lit on fire, whereas the other involves E. coli. What’s a good dump without a few specks of bleed anyway?

Despite having struggled with their food safety in the past, Chipotle is looking to put an end to the matter once and for all by calling for every store to shut down on February 8th and hold a food safety meeting. According to company spokesman Chris Arnold:

“We want to thank our teams for all of their hard work, to discuss some of the changes we are making to enhance food safety, to talk about the restaurants role in all of that and to answer questions from employees,” he said in an email.(via)

Since the outbreak, Chipotle’s sales have decreased 30% and its stock price has fallen by almost 40%. Nine lawsuits have been filed from people who became sick with E. coli after eating at Chipotle, with even more reportedly on the way:

Bill Marler, a food safety litigator in Seattle, said more suits are coming.

“I represent a total of 75 people, but I haven’t filed all their lawsuits yet,” Marler said.(via)

But once their food standards are on the up-and-up, does Chipotle have a chance at making a comeback? Or will people still swerve to avoid the chain restaurant, remembering the time they were driving cross-country and had to projectile-shit off the side of the road because of the burrito they’d eaten earlier? Some people are still diehard Chipotle fans — are you?

[H/T Chicago Tribune]