People love to give cops a hard time, but when you’re scarfing down hot dogs in your minivan and end up choking on one because you’re sucking ’em down too quickly, guess who’s there to help save your life? That’s why I’m such a big supporter of law enforcement, and an even bigger supporter of not hot dogging and driving. #DontDriveAndDog
Without seeing the woman in the video, if you told me to draw what a woman eating a hot dog while driving would look like, I would’ve sketched this woman exactly, right down to the uncool looking hiking boots. You know why I can make fun of her? Because she’s alive! You can’t make fun of the appearance of a lady who just died from choking on a hot dog; that’d be in poor taste. Let’s applaud this cop for giving me the ability to make fun of her attire!
I wonder if she started choking on the hot dog before the cop pulled over, or the act of getting pulled over gave her a fright and caused her to choke. Other theory is that the hot dog was just a casing filled with molly, and this woman was actually a drug mule. After she saw the cop, she tried to dispose of the evidence by eating it, but it ended up getting caught. If only the cop knew that he had an international drug trafficker within his grasp.
This is also a fantastic way to get out of a ticket. You throw the cop a bone and make him feel like he’s a hero for saving your life, and also make him pity you by crying about the fact that you almost just died. The bond you two just formed will surely result in him letting you off with a warning. I’m keeping a hot dog in my glove compartment going forward, and I urge you all to do the same.