There was a time in my life when I knew that here in the United States of America we were Number One at being #1, the best at winning, and it wasn’t even up for debate. But I’ve just seen a study that has shaken me to my core and caused my steadfast belief in American superiority to waiver. If we’re not #1 at getting drunk before we get drunk then can we really be #1 at anything?
Sure, we’ve got Michael Phelps and he’s the greatest swimmer to ever live in the entire history of the human race. We lay claim to being the first people to fly (Wright brothers) and the first country to land astronauts on the moon…But I ask again, does any of that really matter if we’re not even the best at getting drunk before we go out to get drunk? If we’re not #1 at pregaming then what the fuck are we even doing with our lives?????
Out of the 25 countries and 65,126 people studied using data from the Global Drugs Survey, researchers from universities around the world have crowned Ireland top of the table for drinking before a night out. The results, which were published last week in the Drug and Alcohol Review journal, found that 85.4 percent of the 1,883 Irish survey respondents said they drank alcohol in a private setting before heading out.
A close second was Norway, with 80 percent admitting to pre-gaming. New Zealand and Denmark clocked in at 78.7 percent and 76.2 percent respectively, and the UK clinched fifth place with three-quarters of those surveyed saying they pre-drank. At the other end of the boozy spectrum, the survey found that Greece had the lowest amount of pre-drinkers—just 17.7 percent said they hit the bottle before heading out. via Munchies
Fuck! We’re not even #2?!?! Norway’s beating us at drinking before getting drunk? How in the shit am I even supposed to go to bed tonight? I’m ashamed to be nothing more than an afterthought right now in the world of pregaming. In fact, I think I’ll shut down this article now and start pregaming my next article and do my part to raise the USA back to greatness.
Want to learn more about the pregaming world rankings, you’ll have to click on over to VICE’s Munchies!