Couple Steals $9,000 Worth Of Undies From JC Penney Because YOLO

Wyoming Police indicate that a couple strutted into a Cheyenne JC Penney and stole 1,000 pairs of women’s underwear, totaling $9,000.

Video surveillance shows the couple exiting the store with a large plastic bag full of panties. The best part is that they are still at large, dipping out before police arrived.

Do I think this was a good decision? No. Can I see why they did it? Absolutely. If there’s anyone who knows the realness of the undie struggle, it’s me. There’s a 6% chance that on any given day, my underwear is clean. Granted, I have like three pairs, but I’d be lying if I said the idea of being able to wear a brand new pair of undies for the next 25 years, isn’t something I’d bend my moral compass for. Because I’ve gone to shameful measures when my stash of clean undies dwindles, flipping dirty ones inside out, wearing a bathing suit, or my girlfriend’s thong. I mean, what?

If you have any information on the whereabouts of these panty raiders, please pass it along to the Cheyenne Police. Or me. Because I’m freeballing it right now.

Via Huffington Post

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.