This Crab Is A Straight Up Samurai Warrior Who Is Not Having Any Bro’s Stuff

So apparently Brazilian crabs are goddamn samurais, which is tight right? I guess crabs are fed up with the instagramming beachcombers of the world pickin ’em up and removing them from their undisturbed, entirely unexposed underground rock caves.

I can reason though. Like there’s a special place in hell for the bros out there that can’t help but literally uproot an otherwise complacently antisocial oceanside creature from his (or her) humble abode. If you’ve ever chilled on a beach for a hot sec and lifted up a few barnacle-coated rocks after checking out the local scantily-clothed, bikini-clad talent, you’ve probably found at least a few crabs under a rock; and besides the fact that that shit’s generally terrifying—the sand is aliive–crabs also always seem like their pissed as fuck.

If there’s a lesson to be learnt from this video it’s that we shouldn’t bestow finely sharpened blades to the progressively further enraged pincer-clawed shellbeasts. Look at that form, this guy could give Olivia Munn and her whole Psylocke getup a straight up run for her money.

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