My parents were never and will never be this interesting, although if converting to Judaism could somehow get them to send me fun texts like these I might consider it. There’s nothing quite like waking up to a text about how your ovaries are drying up and if you don’t get hitched soon you’ll die old and alone as opposed to the usual “I left u a voicemail call me back pls” from my dad. Who listens to voicemail anymore? Why couldn’t you just text me what you said in the voicemail? UGH. I’ll take this “Crazy Jewish Mom” any day over voicemails.