For anyone who has ever left their homes more than like twice in their life, you all understand that some people are just too crazy to approach. Sure, you’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover, but sometimes you have to. Like, sure, it’s a nice thing to say in theory, but if I saw a book whose cover was really just a collage of razor blades weaved together, I’m probably not going to open that book.
Like Paul Tasker, who looks ball-bitingly crazy. Like, if I accidentally cut both my thumbs off and was sitting in the hospital and this dude walked in, I’d dip right there and then because of him. Living a life with no thumbs is a much better life than not living one period because some psycho dude at the ER made you choke to death on your own nose after he bit it off and shoved it down your throat. So, honestly, I’m not too surprised how many cops showed up when reports were called in of a domestic dispute concerning him.
“The search for Paul Tasker, 39, began early Thursday morning after a report of a domestic dispute Tuesday at a home on Province Road. Police said the dispute involved criminal threatening with a firearm.
“We needed a large number of law enforcement to help us locate, track and apprehend this fugitive,” Acting Barnstead Chief Frank Jones said. “He is a danger to the community. He is a convicted felon. There were firearms involved.”
The state police helicopter could be seen circling the area while police searched from below.
“There were dog teams and SWAT and everything else, so I figured they had to be looking for somebody,” resident Paul King said. Armored vehicles and the SWAT team set up a perimeter with guns drawn near the Province Road home where Tasker was believed to be hiding out in nearby woods with his girlfriend and three children.
“This person we were looking for was armed, was committed, was dedicated and dangerous, and knowing that, (police officers’) duty is to protect the public, and that’s what they did here today,” state police Capt. Christopher Wagner said. State police said Tasker was found and taken into custody without incident with the help of a K-9.
“Without the assistant from the New Hampshire State Police, that would not have had been possible,” Jones said. “We are indeed grateful for their assistance.”
Police said Tasker was armed with several weapons, including a scope rifle. He faces several charges, and police said more could be filed.
“There have been outstanding warrants in the state of Florida and the state of New Hampshire for quite some time, ranging from a variety of charges, most of them felonies,” Jones said.”
“They found me, honey!! Grab my gun and round up the kids!! We’re digging holes in the woods to ride this one out!!” is pretty much exactly what I imagine Tasker screaming at his wife when the police began showing up. Tasker literally sounds like the crazy backwoods stereotype from a horror movie. Except, since it’s not a movie and this real life, the police actually showed up ready to take him down. While it’s not stated in the report, I’m pretty positive that Tasker was trying to bite through the kevlar vests and athletic cups that the police were wearing because, ultimately, Tasker is ball-bitingly crazy. You can take away a man’s guns and fists, but you can’t take away his teeth and jaw-power.