Being a dad can certainly have its pitfalls, but what happened to this particular father is a story for the record books.
Ben Patterson, the dad in question, had one of the worst days you can have as a father and how it happened is almost beyond belief.
The other day as he was driving his son Declan barfed all over himself while sitting in his car seat. Nothing terrible unusual about that. Little kids puke. It’s what they do.
What happened next was a litany of texts to his wife (who completely ignored him) describing the unbelievable chain reaction that Declan’s puking set off.
Here’s how the texts began…
So this just happened
I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up myself
I just threw up trying to clean him up
It smells SO BAD
Not a good start…
I’m standing on the side of the road dry heaving, I can’t even be in the car it’s so awful
I seriously don’t know what to do, I’m barfing every time I try to clean him up
I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids
I’m trying to explain that I’m a sympathetic vomiter and can’t handle the smell
This is SO BAD
Aaaand now the cops showed up
Because they have nothing better to do in Burlingame
Aaaaand now a breathalyzer
YOU OWE ME SO BIG
He barfed so much someone called the cops on him! Hahahaha!
And now the glorious ending…
meanwhile Declan continues to barf
WHAT DID HE EAT BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING WHALE BLUBBER
ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!!
At least I passed the breathalyzer
Trying to drive home with the windows down and breathing through my shirt.
Gotta love how his wife isn’t answering the phone.
Just makes you want to go out and have a few kids, doesn’t it?
Now all I wish is that I could see what his wife had to say when he finally saw her face to face.
Here was his latest update today. Seems like a solid move here.
#Lifeprotip When I get off this flight I’m grabbing a few of these bad boys to stash in the minivan. Mostly for me rather than the kids.
Sick man image by Shutterstock