This Dancing Russian Club Kid Can’t Be Contained

1. How the hell did a grade-schooler get into a Russian club? 

2. Is he on MDMA?

3. Is he Techno Viking's kid?

4. Where did he learn to dance like that?

5. Where did he learn to give zero fucks like that?

6. Is it okay if he's breaking the sunglasses at night rule?

7. Can I adopt him?

(Answers: 1. It's Russia; 2. Probably; 3. Probably not; 4. His new copy of Thriller; 5. Russian winter/vodka; 6. Yes; 7. He's in his 20s now, but yeah, sure.)