This is the ensuing conversation here at BroBible HQ after I said I was gonna throw this story up on the website:
Brandon: …why did he drink the whole fucking thing
Doug: that was my question
Rebecca: same here
Doug: wouldn’t you spit out the first sip?
Brandon: exactly, why would you consume it the second you know it’s dish detergent?
Chris: I’ll assume he was married with kids. That’s why I drink it.
Unbeknownst to us because none of us had read the actual story at that point in time, the stuff poor Andreas Lorente drank was a colorless industrial cleaner that only needed a sips’ worth to deliver severe burns to his throat and stomach. According to Metro,
Andreas Lorente ordered a glass of wine on Sunday afternoon, however he was served the colourless industrial cleaner which was in an empty wine bottle left in the fridge by one of the staff in the cafe.
Upon drinking the odourless detergent Mr Lorente suffered severe burns to his throat and stomach, and was rushed to hospital in Vinaros, Spain.
Sadly he died before he could be airlifted to a specialist centre nearby.
So what did we learn today kids? Not to judge a book by its cover? That you should never keep your industrial dishwasher detergent in an empty wine bottle? That chugging cleaning supplies can and will kill you?
NO! We learned that going out and drinking fancy-pants wine with your pinky held high in the air is not only a waste of money, but will probably kill you. That’s why I stick to Franzia. It’s kept in a box so there’s no mistaking it for anything but boxed wine, and once you finish the bag you can’t refill it so there’s 0 chance of someone throwing in some bleach and then being like “Oh whoops didn’t mean to kill you my b” down the road. Franzia is literally the best wine on the market for those of us who are a. cheap and b. do not give a shit about pretending to be “cultured” and only care about getting a buzz on within 2-3 glasses of the stuff.
Oh, and for bonus points you can serve Franzia on the rocks. That’s what my family does during happy hour and we are the classiest bunch you’ll ever meet, right next to every single guest star on Jerry Springer and that guy in your neighborhood who goes around digging through your trash every trash day but never actually take anything. He’s got standards, y’know. Just like us.