What Are The Sex Moves You Swear By That The Ladies Actually Hate?

by 3 years ago
sex-moves

Twitter

Bros! You know how to fuck, don’t you?

Of course you know how to fuck, you are a Bro. What kind of plop dick question is that?

But …

What if you didn’t know how to fuck?

Writer Madeleine Holden (who did a piece for us a while back about dick pics) is a hilarious tweeter (@moscaddie) with a really engaged follower base. So when she posted a tweet asking to hear the bad sex moves dudes try, I knew the responses would be gold.

So Bros. Even if you think you’re great, spend a little time here learning.

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Here we go.

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Don’t jab. Don’t jab. Whatever you do, don’t jab. And why is that?

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Come hither motions. They work.

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Keep a steady pace when you’re about to help your partner achieve orgasm. And don’t come until after. You can do this.

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Say some stuff during sex (I’m guilty of this one).

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Don’t tongue fuck her ear, bro.

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Be patient. It takes time.

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But if it seems like they are losing interest, ask.

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Lube. It. Up.

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Cunnilinguate with dexterity.

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Ask about the ass.

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You like spit. They do not like spit.

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Not everyone moans like a seal.

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Carress the tits. And yea. Don’t blow on the vagina.

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Gotta be gentle. Gotta prep.

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idk even what this is but don’t do that.

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Trust me when I say that adding a vibrator is the best thing you can do. Takes all the pressure off you.

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You aren’t a porn star, don’t talk like it.

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Don’t do that. Ever. But lastly, always remember sex is a mutual act.

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That’s it. It ain’t that hard.


TAGSsex moves