Dude Walks The Las Vegas Strip Asking 100 Different Girls To Make Out With Him–Success Varies

And here I am spending my entire paycheck on dates. I even shower for most of them. I threw on a collared shirt for one once. Usually they just end with an awkward ass-out hug and an empty, tepid “we should do this again,” even though I know that she probably isn’t chomping at the bit to go out with a dude who weighs more than his credit score. So I end up walking back to my place because I can’t afford a cab after my date decided to get the most expensive cocktail on the menu (always tastes better when it’s free, huh babe?), all the while combatting a brutal stomach ache because I’ve been holding in farts the entire night. And I’m usually livid at myself because I just spent my last $18 when I could have just as easily went home, changed into sweatpants, and utilized my buddy Jake’s Brazzers password. Thanks for that, Jake.

I’ve been doing it all wrong, man. This dude’s got the right idea. He spent zero dollars. Even acquired some currency into his spank bank. No swings, no hits. Babe Ruth led the league in strikeouts, but no one chooses to remember. More power to you, brah.

P.S. I don’t know much, but I do know one tried-and-true technique that can land you directly into the friend zone. The high five is Beta. Don’t do this if you stand a chance at the chick touching your jimmy.

[h/t TFM]