According to authorities via ABC 6,
Officers responded to a report of a disorderly man at 4:21 a.m. Sunday on the 800 block of North Wood Avenue.
Arriving officers observed 27-year-old Kyle Chambliss, of Plainfield, talking loudly on his cell phone while sitting in a vehicle.
They reportedly smelled alcohol coming from Chambliss and asked him to step out of his car.
After being told to end his phone call and speak to them, he allegedly became aggressive towards the officers.
When he was told he was being placed under arrest, they say Chambliss told them he had to defecate himself and proceeded to do so to keep the officers at bay.”
This is one of those great examples of nonsensical, drunken logic. This guy was probably completely trashed and certain that he had just cornered the police with his impeccable logic. ‘If you arrest me, I’ll crap myself and reek up your cop car, and then you’ll look like a complete dumbass.’
This story serves as a perfect example of how not to interact with the Police. I really can’t think of any situation that would be more uncomfortable than getting pepper sprayed right after crapping myself. Remember, crapping yourself is not like grabbing an invincibility star in Mario Kart. It doesn’t make you impervious from repercussions; it just makes you a disgusting individual.
[h/t ABC 6]