Thirsty Guy Texts Girl Looking For Booty Call, Girl Decides To Get Revenge In The Dumbest Way Possible


Look, I’m all for enacting some petty revenge just for the sake of fucking with people, but giving someone a fake address and then being all “Surprise! I’m NOT EVEN THERE YA DICK” is pretty lame. According to an email sent into Elite Daily:

I hooked up with this guy a few times and he used to be super nice. We were in the same friend group and went on a few trips together.
When I stopped wanting to hook up with him because of his cocky attitude, he started to get really rude and called me a slut (because I didn’t want to hook up with him). I always ignored him after that.
Anyway, after about 6 months of not talking AT ALL, this is the text I get from him… and this is what I did.

It’s a promising email, right? Revenge, sex, name-calling, basically all the ingredients of a good revenge story are here. Unfortunately for us, this girl has a really lame idea of what revenge should be.

It starts off promising.


Cool, lure him to your abode. I’m sure you have a great plan in action for when he gets there.


He arrives, and…


That’s it? Really? You made him drive somewhere, that’s your revenge? It probably didn’t even take a whole gallon of gas to get to 812 Beacon Street, so at most he wasted about $1.50. Boo hoo, that’s one less McDouble he can afford to buy, how ever will he continue living?

Now I could forgive this stupidity, if 812 Beacon Street was located somewhere ghetto and dangerous. In fact, I was hoping that it was so that I could make the title of this post “Thirsty Guy Texts Girl Looking For Booty Call, Girl Lures Him Into Dangerous Ghetto Full Of Murder Instead” (dat clickbait lyfe). Now THAT’S a title I’D click on! But nope, this is what 812 Beacon Street looks like:


baca bac

I could’ve ran with at least a few dilapidated buildings, because at least then I could’ve argued that the chances of getting stabbed were around a 99%. But NOPE. The buildings are nice, and you know what else? THERE’S NO STABBINGS.


What’s a story without a few good potential situations for a stabbing? Worst “revenge” ever. I think I hate you.

Oh, and if you’re curious why the header image is a woman eating a keyboard, it’s because that was one of the first results I got when I searched “revenge” on Shutterstock. Does it apply to this story? Not at all. But did I find it highly amusing to have at the top as a non sequitur? Absolutely.

[H/T Elite Daily, Images via Elite DailyGoogle MapsShutterstock and Trulia]