Holiday shopping sucks. People hate holiday shop. Only insane people find joy in circling mall parking lots for hours, fighting strangers for a spot in line and paying big money for gifts on people you don’t even really care for. Hooray baby Jesus’s birthday!
Imagine trying this bullshit escalator trick at a crowded mall during the holiday. A riot would break out in seconds. “I JUST WANTED TO GET TO FUCKING JCPENNY ASSHOLE! NOW YOU AND YOUR BALLS ARE IN THE WAY!”
Newspaper headlines: LOCAL MAN PUT HIS BALLS ON ESCALATOR AND STARTS MALL RIOT.
Seriously, look at this dude. He looks pissed.
He wants to hit a bitch. Look at his wife’s face in the right hand corner. You know she’s asking him if he’s going to punch a bitch.