‘Planet Of The Apes’ Is Upon Us, Escaped Chimp Tries High-Wire Getaway And Gives Us A Goddam Show

by 3 years ago

escaped chimpanzee high-wire japan

Sometimes fiction can become reality. Sometimes fantasy films become fact. That’s what’s happening here. This is just the dawn of a primate uprising. I’ve already battened down the hatches because as soon as a friend or family member of this escaped chimpanzee sees their mate can taken down by a tranquilizer, it’s on like… yup, Donkey Kong.

This raw video from the Associated Press shows an escaped male chimpanzee that was captured by city officials after falling off an electricity pole in northern Japan.

I love how the video starts with the chimp yawning like this is just another Thursday morning in my neighborhood. Probably gonna lop off one of these wires and swing from it like Tarzan times a thousand. And, did you see the chimp’s reaction when he gets shot IN THE BACK by that tranq dart? I’ve seen that before. IN EVERY ‘PLANET OF THE APES’ MOVIE EVER!

planet apes caesar

Despite taking one to the back, he keeps on trucking until he comes to one of the poles and, you know what, I have no idea what happens at the :45 mark but holy hot bananas on rye bread, is that not a scene straight out of your favorite action / adventure flick? Like, did he get shot again? Did he think he could be like Electro and absorb power from the wires?

Chimp’s hanging by one hand… paw?… dangling. Who knows what’s underneath him because they haven’t shown it. This could be his horrible demise. His fingers finally slip, the crowd GASPS, he hits another wire on his way down and drops safely in a landing pad of some sort. Oooooooooo, what a rush! Somebody find James Franco and imprison him.

TAGSchimpanzeeescaped chimpanzee