New Study Finds Pretty Much Every Millennial Wants To Quit Their Job

by 3 years ago


I’ll be honest. I love my job. That has a lot to do with the fact that a great deal of it consists of sitting around and watching pornography during the work day, but even if I wasn’t allowed to do that, I think I’d still enjoy it. Blogging’s great.

But to be perfectly honest, I HATED my two jobs before this. So droll and boring. I was, as a lot of you are, a pansy millennial who wahh wahh couldn’t handle the rigors of the real world.

“Why don’t people respect my opinion?” I would whine. “Why I’m I not in charge?” I’d bemoan. Like a bitch.

Which, turns out, is normal. Millennials are just really whiny, bitchy, bemoaning humans. And none of us want to work.

A new study found that pretty much every fucking millennial wants to quit their job.

Deloitte’s fifth annual global Millennial survey suggests that two in three young professionals expect to quit their current jobs by 2020. That lack of loyalty should sound alarm bells as Millennials become the predominant part of the workforce around the world.

“Wah wah wah why can’t I follow my dream and travel?” every 20-something preens.

We also have stupid passions and shit.

They want to work for organizations that have a purpose beyond profit.

Ha. We’re such a coddled bunch. They should stick us in coal mines for 10 years without internet access then see if we bitch about cush 9-5s ever again.

Bet we wouldn’t!

TAGSgeneration wussmillennialswhiners