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So for those who are unaware because you’re too busy focusing on the important things in life, today is hashtag hashtag hashtag National Pizza Day. They say pizza is a lot like sex, because even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good. They also say pizza is a lot like oral sex in that if it has an insect growing out of it, you’re probably going to get a disease.
Tia Neylan, a 16-year-old from the UK, purchased a take out pizza from Norton’s Express Pizzeria–which has been her family’s go-to spot for over a decade–and opened the box to find a slimy crawler with multiple legs trying to jack her slice.
She posted a video of her finding to Facebook, where it has gone viral for all the wrong reasons.
The caption reads:
Don’t order from Express Pizzeria, Norton High St, Stockton-on-Tees, open box the to find this, fucking disgusting. Returned it and all they had to say was “its cheese”. Family has been ordering from there for years and have had nothing bad to say about them before but this😷
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She then told the Gazette Live:
“I literally just threw up everywhere. I even had a little break down. As you can imagine, it was obviously a shock for me and my family. I didn’t even notice it until I’d taken a bite from a slice. I looked at the pizza in the box, as you do, and there it just was wiggling around.”
“All I know was it was black and it had a lot of legs,” added Tia.
“My boyfriend’s mam said it could be a millepede or a centipede, other people have said maggot, caterpillar of a leech.”
Mr Bashir, who has owned the pizza place for 18 years, predictably expressed his doubt with Tia’s claims.
“When I watched the video, I was upset because for an insect to survive 400 degrees – that is impossible,” said the owner Mr Bashir.
“Some people have said it was already in the box but insects don’t survive this environment.
“If it is true, it is shocking but I can’t believe it – there wasn’t even any salad for it to be have been in.”
It should be noted that Stockton’s food hygiene agency previously drilled Norton’s Express Pizzeria with a one-star rating, which doesn’t bode well for Mr. Bashir.
“Much Improvement Necessary.”
Good start, bro.
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This begs the question: how many beers would it take for you to eat a centipede pizza?
[h/t Some eCards]