Would You Buy Your Girl A ‘Teddy Love,’ A Teddy Bear That Gives Head?

Move over Ted, there’s a new fucking teddy bear in town and his name is Teddy Love.

The description of Teddy Love from the website:

He was born on a cold, snowy winter’s night in New England when his developer was lonely and wanted to cuddle…

A girl’s best friend is her Teddy Love, Teddy Bear. Teddy Love keeps you warm and satisfied on those long, lonely nights. Teddy Love is a unique, discreet, sexual toy that provides hours of pleasure through its dual, vibrating mechanisms. Teddy Love has soft fur, twinkly eyes and is ohhh…so cuddly. Its discreet vibrating device encourages orgasms.

Direct stimulation is achieved through the variable (10 speed device) discreetly located in Teddy Love’s vibrating nose and tongue.

Teddy Love is a great gift. Give someone a bachelorette, holiday, anniversary, birthday or Valentine gift that they will enjoy over and over. Teddy Love the gift that keeps on giving. It’s also a great partner to just cuddle and fall in love with. Why settle for expensive and noisy stimulators when you can experience the warmth and luxury of Teddy Love, the bear that loves back.

Teddy Love blends in with your home furnishings making it a discreet sexual toy that no-one can see.

Experience Teddy Love today and fall in love again.

In an office someone actually organized a PowerPoint presentation that pitched the idea of, “Hey, you know what the world needs? A vibrator sex toy that is built into the snout of an adorable teddy bear!” This innovation is perfect for men that are too selfish and/or lazy to go down on their gal pal or women that have Ursusagalmatophilia (a sexual fetish where you become aroused by teddy bears).

There’s really nothing more creepy than disguising your sex toys as actual toys that kids would want to play with.

The odd sex toy purveyor claims that this Teddy Fuckspin will ignite a new passion in your sex life.

If your shitty sex life needs a fucking teddy bear, you need to break up or go to a furry convention.

If you were thinking about buying a stuffed animal that will do what you can’t, satisfy that special lady in your life, right now the Teddy Love is on sale for the low, low price of $74.95, regularly a ridiculous $99.95. Sorry, this cuddly lil guy is not available at your local Build-A-Bear.

Adult starlet Britney Amber says she loves the teddy bear that gives head, but she’s the spokesmodel for the furry fuck toy and getting paid to say that.