If Your Girlfriend Realizes You Cheated On Her Don’t Be Surprised When You Get Something Like This For Your Birthday

Reddit user BostonTERRORier claims that his now ex-girlfriend gave him a “lovely present” for his birthday, consisting of a hand-written note and an empty bag containing “zero fucks.” Now this isn’t my first day at the rodeo kids, so I’ve got a feeling this might be just a wee-bit fake and I’ll tell you why…

…that girl has mighty neat handwriting for an angry, rabid jilted lover. Also note the irony of how she does indeed give at least a few fucks since she wrote the note in the first place, either making her an idiot or just another faceless person on the Internet trying to cheat the system for fake Internet points.

Or the fact that, y’know, you can buy something stupid like that right here.

Oh, Internet. You never cease to disappoint us, although the stories you weave in the process are at least amusing.

[H/T Reddit, header image via Shutterstock]