Do Girls Generally Expect Low Quality From a One-Night Stand? Plus How to Get Over a Girl Quickly

by 6 years ago

Q: I am curious about your opinion on an article this site has written where a guy and babe discussed how long a guy should last in bed. The babe said anything over 3 mins is fair but 8 is way to much. And her cumming is off the table. These both made me raise my eyebrows. Do girls when expecting a one night stand or occasional hook up really have these low standards for their partner's performance? I want to assume it was just satire.

A: Church, stamina-breau. For a one-night stand where, true to its name, you may never have sex with this person again, eight minutes is nothing short of a complete letdown. A wasted notch on the belt, if you will. And three minutes? Nothing short of god awful.

Don't. Waste. My. Fucking. Time.

I realize that sometimes in the heat of a passionate strip down these literal shortcomings can't be helped. You're excited/turned on/drunk etc…but let it be known that there is nothing sexier than a dude who has the control and willpower to stay in the race until his lady partner is ready to finish it.

Some people do have lower expectations than others, so maybe three minutes just hits the spot for them.

Definitely not the g-spot, but maybe the proverbial spot.

As for the “her cumming is off the table” comment…I don't know what the fuck that means. I'm not into it. It may not be the easiest thing in the world to satisfy your lady, and one-nighters don't always do the trick. But once you do, she won't stop coming/cumming back for more. Which is ideal.

Q: There's this girl and I wanna ask her to hang out, but every time I try to ask her, I get really nervous! I like her too! How do I ask her?  Hey BroBible babe, will you be my girlfriend?

A: Hey guy. I'd consider it– if you didn't use exclamation points as frivolously as a Girl Scout with the new iPhone.

Where's the romance, the intrigue? Don't you want to convince me, along with the rest of womankind, that you've made it past puberty?

My suggestion: do less. Less worrying, less nervousness, definitely less exclamation points.

Rain check on the girlfriend thing.

Q: I have a huge thing for my best friend's sister and I know the Bro-code says no, but, I don't really give a fuck what it says. From a female's perspective. Would you ever date your brother's best friend? If you would how would you want him to approach you without making things awkward with the family and the crew of friends?

A: Definitely some murky water we're trudging through here.

Brother's best friend, not sure. Best friend's brother, definitely. Slightly less awkwardness involved. Relatively speaking.

Your buddy is presumably going to have a tough time getting behind you… getting behind his sister. Because of this, you could potentially take a perfectly healthy friendship and turn it into a spoiled chunky carton of friendship that really can't be un-curdled once you've let it sit out for a week of two of boning its sister. But if you really like her, the trade-one/get-one situation might be a risk you're willing to take.

If you haven't already, I'd tried to get a read of the situation via the brother/bro in question. Let it leak out that you're attracted to his sister and slowly, get a feel for his reaction to the circumstance.

If he freaks the fuck out and threatens to kill your first-born, quit while you're ahead. Also, grab a restraining order.

If he takes the news with a slightly off-put but not completely bothered air, I'd push it a little farther.

If you get to a place where you think you could make the move, it would probably be best to sit him down and talk things out. Treat it like a boyfriend asking a father for his daughters hand in marriage. Be respectful, show you care, and make sure he understands you're not just trying to impregnate and ditch his sibling. Tread lightly, and best of luck.

Q: How do you get over the girl you love, when the only reason you split is because one is going to college?

A: Ah yes, University-induced separation of soul mates.


But for no more than four or five months, when you forget that you ever had a girlfriend prior to landing on the glorious soil that is your new campus. Once you come to know the scent of keg beer, the feeling of DFMO'ing, and the look of a billion freshman babes trying to make their mark…you'll scoff at the thought of ever asking my advice here.

You'll feel embarrassed for a minute. And then you'll forget you ever asked, just as you'll forget you ever had a high school girlfriend.

Since you guys probably lost your virginity to each other and everyone in your hometown assumed you would get married, you'll always have that “special” bond. Meaning, you'll probably still have sex over the next couple of Christmas breaks. But most likely, nothing more.

Q: What are you thoughts on cold approaches? I'm talking about a guy spotting a girl at a bar or party or some similar social scene (see furry convention) and striking up a conversation with the intent of hooking up with her that night. I always feel way too transparent and scummy doing this. It feels corny like something out of a movie (Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?-type bullshit). Because of this, I mainly stick to hooking up with girls I know at least somewhat well. This is cool and all, but sometimes I just want to be able to walk up to a beautiful girl I spot at a bar and get to know her a little better in the hopes of getting to know her a lot better a little later. I guess my question is, when a guy approaches you at a bar, does he actually have a chance at holding your interest, or does he mainly strike you as a cliche pick up line toting douche bag? What can someone do to avoid the latter?

A: When you step outside of your comfort zone, you always run the risk of getting embarrassed or publicly shut down by a babe of interest. It's the way it goes- but it's the only way to expand your horizons beyond the girls you've known since puberty. We as girls appreciate the confidence that goes behind approaching us at random- it shows interest and self-assuredness. THAT said, be warned: we can smell your cheesy bullshit like a starved rat in a fondue restaurant.

I'm not positive that made sense, but the point I'm trying to make is that if you're gonna go out on a limb in the first place, do it with every ounce of parent-given confidence-boosting self-esteem– and make it honest. If you overdo it, or under-do it, you will be sniffed out; and destroyed. If you do it right, you'll become, “this really cute guy I met at the bar the other night – it was like, totally random. But he's really cool.”

You want to be that guy.

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