We are have idiosyncrasies about ourselves that we keep under lock and key because they fall in direct contrast with societal norms. If you followed me around with a camera for a day, you may believe that I belong in a straight jacket. So I have neither hand free to masturbate. But we all have our dirty little secrets because essentially we’re all animals masquerading around as buttoned-up contributing members of society. When we’re out of the public’s scrutinizing eye, we’re all fucking weird. Repulsive, even.
Women are no different. But society keeps a strong grip on preserving their pure collective image, thus disallowing them from expressing the perceived flaws that we bros so seamlessly let fly. *Lifts leg, farts proudly.*
The women of reddit revealed the things about their lives that men don’t have access to slash remain blissfully ignorant from. They range from interesting to kind of icky.
A good bra can cost upwards of 80$, and for large-breasted women it could even be upwards of 100$. As a woman with a DDD cup size, I could probably get a PS4 for less money than it would cost me to get 3 decent bras.
I can’t remember the last piece of clothing I spent more than $19.99 on.
I had an ex that would just get so mad that I couldn’t orgasm. I wanted to, but it’s not like there is some magical button you can push. Also, monthly hormone fluctuations OMG. One day my face is flawless then a week before my period I breakout. My mood gets messed up right before my period and I cry for no reason and eat lots of cereal for two days, then the flood starts and mood is fine. It’s as confusing and shitty for me as it is for you I promise!
This explains why I haven’t gotten a girl off since Bush was in office. I mean. Um. Just kidding…
Women’s bathrooms are often absolutely disgusting.
Yes. We know. I’ll pick up the hair out of the shower drain. Don’t worry about it.
We can be just as gassy as you, but we have to deal with annoying “gas traps”. If a woman is wearing panties and (typically) sitting, the gas can go forward and essentially get stuck in the outer folds of the vagina, making an air pocket. We have to do a little wiggling to get it out. My husband found this fascinating when I told him.
I REALLY hope I am not the only one who has to deal with this, otherwise I just made a very embarrassing comment…
mscandalous in response:
And sometimes it just goes right back inside you through the ~front hole~ and you’re like “okay, nice, I’ve just been pretty much raped by my own fart, this is a beautiful life indeed”.
Or you’re sitting down by yourself and then someone needs something from you and you stand up and it all starts spilling out in a giant queef. So embarrassing!
All the shit that comes out of our vagina. Like, what the fuck is this shit? Regular discharge. Then it changes during ovulation and it looks like fucking egg whites.
Then you get blood. Looks like a goddamn murder scene.
And sometimes for shits and giggles you get random ass orange stuff! Or, if life is great, you’ll get an infection and it’ll come out in clumps. Who knows what fucking color it will be like then.
Oh my god. Vagina’s are awful. Sometimes I really struggle with understanding how they’re attractive.
You may want to consult a medical professional.
How heavy boobs are and how much back ache you get carting them about with you.
Try carrying around 8 pounds of man titties. I have scoliosis at this point.
Ladies, we’d admit what it is that we keep secret, but we’re trying not to go to prison.
[h/t Some eCards]