Listen, charity is all good and fun but I’m poor. I don’t have extra money sitting around to throw to idiots who want to stalk their girlfriend on spring break, or to people who want to make potato salad but don’t have the ingredients readily available. Rather than giving away my lazily earned $$$ to boobs with wild dreams I’d rather spend it on normal stuff, like buying weed and…well, more weed. It takes some serious persuasion to get me to donate money, and damn if these kids trying to buy a shitty 1997 limo doesn’t make me wanna crack open my wallet and throw them a crinkled little Washington.
According to Joe, the GoFundMe poster:
$4k is all we need to have everyone asking “wow is that Prince?? Wait no its just Joe and his friends. Yea they got a limo now and are successful.”
Every little bit helps so we appreciate it. If you donate more than $500, you get a night out in the limo with 9 of your raddest friends, plus me, as I am also your friend now. If you can’t donate that’s ok, but please don’t buy this limo before we do.
This is not a drill. We want this limo. I already cleared out the space in my driveway. All hands on deck here.
God knows once you clear space in your driveway there’s no going back, so y’all best be throwing down your hard-earned dollars for this noble cause. I mean what other car has sick tints to block out the h8ers and a tacky Monster Energy sticker to boot?
And in case you’re worried that these guys don’t reach their $4,000 goal, all the money raised will be donated to the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research rather than buying an even cheaper and shittier limo.