Greatest Grandma Ever Makes Giant Penises Out Of Quilts

penis quilts

UMKC, Facebook


Grandmas the world over make quilts. It’s just what they do. It’s like a law or something. But Holly Stewart is not your typical grandma. She makes giant quilted penises, thus making her the coolest (and perhaps oddest) grandma in the world.

Yes, a real life, Kansas City-based grandma has turned her passion for free love into an art endeavor that’s certainly got our blood pumping. It’s called “Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises” and it encapsulates so many of the things we cherish in this sweet, short life: sex positivity, fiber crafts and badass women of a certain age.

Stewart’s exhibition is currently on view at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, a vision made reality thanks to a Kickstarter initiative with one of the greater names in Kickstarter history. Again, “Local Grandmother Quilts Giant Penises.” In the video below, Stewart explains how her interest in decorative members sparked from her time working in a sex toy factory. (source)

“One” of the greater names in Kickstarter history? Try “greatest” name. Hell, her Keek video even has some sexy porn music going on when she displays some of her “works of art.”

How was that for an opening?

“I was looking on Craigslist for jobs and I saw an ad for a position that was sex positive and I had to know what that was. When I looked at it it was to be a de-molder in a dildo factory. I just knew I needed to be able to tell my grandchildren I had even applied to be a de-molder in a dildo factory. When I got the job it was even better.”

Grandmas the world over? Time to step yo game up!

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