If You Don’t Love Grilled Cheese Chances Are Your Life Sucks And You Don’t Have Sex (Report)
According to a recent study, if you love grilled cheese chances are you’re having a lot of sex and your life is awesome. But if you’re not a fan of grilled cheese then it’s likely you’re never getting laid, and you’re a miserable person living in a van down by the river.
This Sunday (April 12th) is ‘National Grilled Cheese Day’, because we live in a nation that insists on giving every goddamn thing you can think of a day of its own. In honor of the cheesiest of days, social media company Skout conducted a survey of 4,600 people to paint a picture of life for lovers of cheese on the grill. What they discovered is that people who love grilled cheese are more likely to have sex and live happy lives.
Here’s an LA Times summary of the findings (or jump ahead for the infographic):
The company surveyed 4,600 people and found that 73% of grilled cheese lovers have sex at least once a month, compared with 63% of those who don’t love GC. And 32% of grilled cheese lovers have sex at least six times a month, compared with 27% of non-grilled cheese lovers.
The survey also discovered that 81% of its participants who love grilled cheese say they have donated time, money or food to those in need. And 84% of GC fans love to travel, compared with 78% of those who aren’t fans.
While a grilled cheese sandwich may seem like a safe, all-American meal, 88 percent of grilled cheese fans say they are “fairly” or “very” adventurous.
Sixty percent of adults surveyed say they prefer a grilled cheese sandwich that mixes two types of cheeses. Only 40 percent are grilled cheese purists.
Eighty-one percent of people who love grilled cheese sandwiches say they have donated their time, money or food to those in need.
The most popular cheese is American (41 percent), followed by Cheddar (33 percent), Mozzarella (10 percent), Swiss (8 percent), Provolone (6 percent) and Brie (2 percent).
White bread is by far the most popular choice (51 percent), followed by wheat (29 percent), sourdough (13 percent), rye (4 percent) and a baguette (3 percent).
Forty-seven percent say they add extras to their grilled cheese sandwich, like pesto and tomato, whereas 53 percent say, “Just cheese, please!”
I think the message is pretty clear here: if you don’t love grilled cheese then there’s something deeply wrong with you.
Life is better as a turophile, and if you’re not in love with grilled cheese then it’s time to undergo some sort of therapy to bring over to the good side of life.
If you’re looking for some direction on how to get into grilled cheese, or eat more grilled cheese, here are a few helpful links to get you started: