Lying on your resume is all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out, or worse…until someone calls you out on your piano skills and asks you to play at a company meeting.
Why you’d lie about something that can be so easily tested is beyond me. Is my resume full of lies? Sure, but they’re stupid lies like “Proficient in Microsoft Word” (who DOESN’T know how to use MS Word?) and “Willing to work weekends” (willing? Yes, but will I actually do it? LOL no.) In other words, they’re lies I can bullshit my way through without anyone raising eyebrows. Javier Acosta’s friend, however, decided that going big or going home was the better option to take when it came to fluffing up his CV:
My friend lied on his cv that he mastered the piano at age 15 and now he's been asked if he can play for the board of directors on friday.
— Ezekiel Reyes (@Shimz_Afc) August 31, 2016
Man has been sitting in the car for the past half hour googling "the most painless way to break your fingers".
— Ezekiel Reyes (@Shimz_Afc) August 31, 2016
The Internet being the Internet, people started spitting suggestions on how to get out of the impromptu concert at him:
https://twitter.com/HighburyJD/status/771011484759588865
https://twitter.com/fudgie8/status/771316064231628802
This is why you should never lie on your CV.
— Michael (@MickMcCarthy92) August 31, 2016
@TeaAndCopy He needs Bill Bailey to hide inside the piano and play for him.
— Hippolyta Loudbasket (@Loudbasket) September 1, 2016
@AMB_Noni You know he could just wrap them in a bandage. No one will know that it ain't broke.
— Dr. Mayowa (@MayoArtAde) September 1, 2016
lmao he's dead pic.twitter.com/aPshHzCR9O
— J (@lajuwonS_) August 31, 2016
moonlight sonata by beethoven is considered a masterpiece and is extremely simple and somewhat repetitive. It's learnable
— Brace (@bbchillen) August 31, 2016
@iamhussa I can say he was kidnapped
— TheKing (@KingHusHTX) September 2, 2016
dude has to fall down some stairs right now
— Strong Black ☥ (@JerzStrongBlack) September 1, 2016
@johndavidblake you know that bit in Escape to Victory that allows Stallone to move up from trainer to play in goal ….. That!
— Yorkshire Steve (@Yorkshire_Steve) September 1, 2016
@mbisyke simple. Accept to play then call in sick on d day. Mba n'ese okwu 😈😈😈
— Aṅara Maiduguri😏😏🍁🍁 (@TabeebSahr) August 31, 2016
https://twitter.com/Shea_Rihtina/status/771015985826557953?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
@abrianmc Say that a traumatic experience relating to public performance has left him unable to play in public.
— Grá Tweets 💙 (@gra_246) September 1, 2016
https://twitter.com/RulzKay1/status/771044212758421504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Luckily, one of the suggestions actually worked:
Thanks to whoever first tweeted the carpal tunnel syndrome excuse. Mate used it and he doesn't have to play anymore tomorrow.
— Ezekiel Reyes (@Shimz_Afc) September 1, 2016
Javier told Metro that his friend’s employers were “quite sympathetic and wished him the best” when they found out that his carpal tunnel had flared up, and while this may have worked out in the end for him, let this be a lesson to you:
Don’t lie if you ain’t good at it.
[H/T Metro]