This Guy Messaged People On Grindr Using Only Quotes From Pokemon Red, Ended Up Swimming In Dick Pics

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Nintendo / shaun kitchener


The Pokemon series is known for giving kids ages 8 and above a perfectly legal and easy way to enslave animals and cockfight them to the death (okay fine, they “faint” but whatever) in exchange for petty cash, all in a virtual world. The Pokemon series is, however, NOT known for its innovative and witty dialogue:

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Nintendo


Fuck your shorts.

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Nintendo


Introducing children to what a “sex offender” is. How educational.

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Nintendo


Sorry girl, but if you have to go out of your way to tell me that your boyfriend is cool he probably sucks giant Magikarp cock.

 

As you can see there’s a plethora of stupid one-liners placed throughout the original Pokemon games, which means it’s PERFECT for some dude to come along, grab all the dumbest ones and throw them around Grindr just to see what sticks. If you’ve played the games you’ll probably recognize most of these quotes, and if you haven’t – well, why did you click on this post? You’re dumb. Go away.

Unsurprisingly, our Grindr man (Shaun Kitchener) wound up with a bunch of dick pics. Staryus are for face photos, Magikarps are for dicks.

Spoiler: There are many more Magikarps than Staryus.

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According to Shaun, the best responses he got were when it came to talking about caves and tunnels:

 

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Classic Grindr: dick pics, a threesome offer all while the wife isn’t home of course:

 

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As you can see, using lines from Pokemon Red isn’t exactly the most coherent way to get laid…but as long as you’re casting your line into an ocean of desperate fish, you’re bound to get a bite. Or two. Or three…hundred.

[Via Shaun Kitchener]