I’m all about revenge. Murder? Pranks? Spitting in food? You name it and I’m down to fuck with someone in the name of making myself feel better through petty comebacks. My only requirement is that it’s gotta be good though; you can’t half-ass it and then sit back with your arms behind your head and pretend like you’re a badass. It doesn’t work like that. You either go 100% or you put your tail between your legs and sit in the corner with all the other boners who couldn’t muster up the courage to grab life by the face and scream incoherently for 45 minutes straight.
So by my rough calculations, this girl tried to go 100% by hacking her fiance’s Tinder profile but landed right around the 5% mark. Good try, except that was a lie and you kind of suck.
For one thing, you are 20 years old. Why the fuck are you getting married? Unless you’re white trash and plan on living in a mobile home for the rest of your life throw that ring away and get your ass to school. I’m 22 and I can’t even commit to what I want for lunch today, let alone to another person for the rest of my fucking life. Unless you get diagnosed with some sort of terminal disease where you’re expecting to die in the next 20 minutes, there’s no good reason to get married at 20.
Also, that’s all you could come up with? “I am supposed to be getting married in two months but instead I threw it all away to having meaningless convo with ugly lonely whores”? If you can’t even conjugate verbs correctly at this point in your life it’s no wonder you’re getting married at 20, because if you waited any longer he would realize he’s about to marry the intellectual equivalent of an empty tissue box and dip the fuck out of there ASAP. Oh wait, it looks like he has…except talking to chicks on Tinder isn’t cheating. Boning chicks on Tinder sure is, but casually flirting without any intent of ever meeting any of them in person? Calm the fuck down lady, no one wants to date the Cruella DeVille of vaginas.
I could, of course, give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that good ol’ Kevin here actually did physically cheat on her and poke his dick through multitudes of roast beef curtains, but in that case you’d think that she would’ve said something more along the lines of “having meaningless SEX with ugly lonely whores,” not “conversation.”
Overall, I give this a 1/10. One point for hacking his Tinder, and zero more points for doing absolutely nothing worthwhile with it. I would kill for this opportunity and yet you’ve gone and squandered it.
How I weep for thee.