Hey Guess How Many Whales We’ve Killed

The other day I brought you the news that humans have been decimating the planet since 1610.

“HUMANS! Decimating the planet since 1610,” is pretty much our campaign slogan. “Vote humans. We’ll fuck you up.”

We’ve destroyed entire ecosystems, injected toxic gas into our atmosphere and literally pissed everywhere (forests, oceans, parking lots (oh and we made a lot of parking lots, which can’t be good for the environment)).

We also fucking love to kill animals. We have almost eradicated entire species like buffaloes and tigers and elephants and basically any animal we deem cool, as in cool, let’s kill that.

But what about whales? Whales are cool. Certainly cool enough to be killed. How many whales have humans killed? Surely it’s a number that’s reasonable, understandable, and sensible–no it’s three million.

We killed three million whales last century. That’s so many fucking whales. From Gizmodo on a new NOAA study.

In sum, we estimate that nearly 2.9 million large whales were killed and processed during the period 1900–99. Of this total, 276,442 were killed in the North Atlantic, 563,696 in the North Pacific, and 2,053,956 in the Southern Hemisphere.

I would like to really, really reiterate how many whales that is. That is so many fucking whales. We killed three million whales. That’s enough whales to … seriously decimate the whale population and do Lord knows what to the ocean’s natural balance.

Go, humans, go humans go.

I can’t wait til we get wiped out.