If you were walking along the beach in Turkey this week, you might have seen a sight which caused you to gag, vomit, gag again, vomit again, running screaming back to your house, think better of it, return with your phone, snap a pic, wait for the Instagram likes to roll in, then call up an ocean scientist and try to sell him the corpse, which you smuggled off the beach and stashed away inside a giant cooler in your basement.
That’s because you would have seen that disgusting, two-headed dolphin shown above. Which I’ve named Rick Tim Dolphin (the head on the left is Rick).
According to science, who got to research the dolphin right away because they weren’t extorted for money for the body because you weren’t in Turkey this week, “the eyes on one of the dolphin heads were not properly opened – neither was one of the blow holes.”
But it had TWO BRAINS. TWO BRAINS.
How. Does that. Work?
The dolphin was estimated to be one year old, which, that must have been one long fucking year. I bet everyone made fun of it. Or were too terrified to go near it. Either way, they wouldn’t let poor Rick Tim join any dolphin games. I assume. Then one foggy summer eve, Rick Tom died.
There’s a video about it, but it appears to be narrated by a computer.