This past weekend, on a roadtrip to Vermont, I got into a pretty intense debate over a “Would you rather?”: Would you rather have an encounter with an angry bear in the middle of the woods or a hungry shark in the ocean? It’s an impossible hypothetical. Both are terrifying, menacing beasts that want you in their stomachs, but I said “shark” using the logic that I’ve seen enough Discovery Channel shows and blogged enough shark attack survivor stories attempt a swift punch to the nose or gills, assume the damn thing doesn’t bite off my lower torso and arms before doing so. I’m pretty sure a bear would just maul me dead before I could get a single defense in, Grizzly Man style.
Anyhoo, today I learned shark-on-shark violence does exist. A lucky film crew was able to capture the moment a little bitty Great White Shark with Napoleon syndrome tried to attack a MASSIVE, TERRIFYING Great White Shark. Though we love a David vs. Goliath tale, this little guy was fucked the second he tried to level the fuck up on someone much, much bigger than him.
I don’t know why, but this clip made me think of this Dave Chappelle classic. DID YOU SEE DEEP BLUE SEA? A MOTHER FUCKING SHARK ATE ME!
Shark pic via Shutterstock