I am no dirtbag, but I’m no saint either. I’ve donated time and money to charitable causes, but mostly because it made me feel better about all the time and money I spent trying to get laid.
There are celebrities and civilians working to help others everywhere, every day. But what kind of heart powers the person that has little to nothing, but still uses whatever resources they have to give to those in need? These homeless folks and their hearts, bro. And the guilt you will feel is perfectly natural.
University student Dominique Harrison-Bentzen was going home after a night out when she realized she didn’t have her bank card. If ever there was a justified ‘go fuck yourself’ type of response from a homeless person, this situation was rife with it. However, Robbie, a better man than I (and probably you, too) offered the only $5 he had to her so she could get a cab home.
Dominique, in an amazing stroke of generosity, went home and started planning a fundraiser for Robbie. She set up a benefit where she would spend 24 hours living like a homeless person with him while people donated. She ended up raising around $32K.
James French is a homeless man in Seattle. But his homelessness doesn’t take away from his passion for helping others. So every year he saves up $100 so he can donate it to the local Children’s Hospital. Aw man. I didn’t get choked up watching that video. I just had a really painful cramp from my recent workout. That’s it.
Bryan Mowell is homeless after he got injured from a work accident. He can’t work so he sells bottles of water by the road to help give himself some kind of life. One day while selling them he saw the family and friends of a 12 year old girl named Heather Tyer fundraising on her behalf. See, she’d recently been badly burned in a fire and they needed help for her medical bills. Without thinking, he donated everything he’d earned that day and, initially, declined to be recognized for it.
Remember when you washed the dishes that one time and made sure your girl thanked you for it? Yeah. Dick.
Ed Denst is a homeless man in Los Angeles. A former marine, he sold off his home and possessions after his wife died 23 years ago and spent up the remaining money. After bunches of years wandering the streets as a homeless person he decided to start giving back. So he gathered up the $250 in one dollar bills he’d saved up and gave it to the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul Council in Los Angeles. Why? Because it made him feel good. Feeling that guilt yet, son?
Cocaine is a hell of a drug? Well meth is cocaine on steroids with some Adderall thrown in for good measure. Sheldon Vance knows all about it because he spent seven years living on the streets dealing with this meth addiction. With the help of Covenant House Vancouver he kicked the habit, rebuilt his life, got married and became a professional photographer.
So when Covenant house held a benefit, Sheldon donated $25K and crowd-sourced an additional $33K. When’s the last time you even cooked a meal for your mama, you ingrate?
If I won $1.7 million in the lottery I’d use a portion of it to get several women to do despicable things with me, then I’d set up a mutual fund or something else that would make money on itself. But I’m a selfish asshole (with a twitter account @mightyspan).
Hungarian László Andraschek, a former homeless alcoholic that bought a lottery ticket on the way to an AA meeting, resolved to use his newly won fortune to help people that are homeless like he used to be. He and his wife resolved to live modestly while they work to advocate for Hungary’s 30,000 homeless. They’ve already purchased some properties towards the cause and donated to a hostel.
And in the generosity sweepstakes the winner is 99 year old Dobri Dobrev from Bulgaria. Dobri lost his hearing in the 2nd world war, but still manages to make a living on a $100 a month pension. He makes his own clothes and wears them every day while he walks 25 kilometers a day begging. Not for himself of course, remember, he’s better than you. He’s begging to get money to help out orphanages that can’t pay their bills. So far, he’s raised about $50K towards their expenses.
See an interview with him here:
Merry Christmas and enjoy those presents, bro.