Find Me A Bigger Asshole Than This Hoverboarding Douche With A Man Bun Berating A Store Clerk. You Can’t

In manned-bunned hover boarder’s defense, the convenient store service window is the second most inefficient, rage-inducing process, only bested by Time Warner cable. I would have an easier time explaining to my girlfriend why I fucked her sister than I would trying to communicate to the store clerk that I’d like a Snapple and a pack of Parliaments through that Darth Vader mic. But, if you have a man bun and are cruising around on a hoverboard at 5 am, you have zero margin for error. Everyone already thinks you’re an asshole and even if you take a second to jump off your douche-mobile to rescue a kitten from a tree, why would you do that, cats suck and you still have a man bun, dick. Granted, the dude didn’t go full psycho like the Uconn Mac and Cheese douche, but if you’re presenting yourself like a Chad, you best be on your best behavior. Go cure Zika virus or build schools in Sierra Leone if you stand a fighting chance in hell at escaping the borders of Doucheville.

P.S. Props to the editor of this video–laughed out loud at least three times at the animations and tense music. Really told the douche story.

[h/t Death and Taxes]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.