This Is How You Seal A Bag Of Chips When There’s No Clip

*Note: For a whopping 20 minutes the title of this post was “This Is How You Seal A Bag Of Chips When You Can’t Find A Clip Or If You Don’t Feel Like Using Jizz To Crust The Bag Shut.” Unfortunately, JCamm now says that’s too gross to have on the website. Bummer…but I’m not re-writing everything because of the title change, hence all the talk below about jizz-crusted chip bags.*

Once upon a time, the working title of this post was “This Is How You Seal A Bag Of Chips Shut Without A Clip.” It was a happy little title albeit a little vanilla for my tastes, so you can imagine my delight upon showing said title to JCamm and having the following conversation:

Me: Does that title work? It’s sort of boring.
JCamm: Do they close the bag using dried semen? I bet it’s dried semen.
Me: Is that how you seal your chip bags…?
JCamm: Of course not. I have clips. I’m not poor, but if I WERE poor…and didn’t have rubber bands…jizz seals.

So that my friends, is yet another way you can potentially seal a bag of chips when you don’t have a clip. For those of you who don’t want jizz anywhere near or around your food, here’s another way:

Then again, if you’re naked and already at half-mast because the perfume commercial that came on was just a little bit too sensual…we won’t judge you for using jizz (lying, I’m lying, look at me I just lied because yes we totally will).

[H/T Metro]