Here’s What Humans Would Look Like If We Evolved To Survive Car Crashes, And It Is Ugly

by 4 years ago


Evolution works to keep a species alive, choosing those whose physical attributes are more in tune with their environment to carry on the genetic code.

Thus, the moth with the proboscis long enough to reach deep into a flower, the opposable thumb of the chimpanzee to better navigate jungles, and the reinforced skull of a human to survive car crashes.

Wait. What?

Humans have been dying in car crashes for over 100 years now and, you would think, at some point, natural selection would help to eliminate those who sucked at surviving car crashes and those who were great at it.

Of course, a couple generations are not nearly enough for evolution to work its magic, but if it did, what would we look like?

Fucking ugly, that’s what.


Patricia Piccinini

That heinous mother fucker was created by Australian sculptor Patricia Piccinini, as part of a new road safety campaign. She used ideas and information from a trauma surgeon to craft a body that could withstand a high-speed impact. First up, a reinforced skull.


Patricia Piccinini

Then, lots and lots of nipples to protect the rib cage.


Patricia Piccinini

The dude also has no neck, to prevent whiplash, and if he’s walking down the road and gets hit by a car, his knees are extra bendy to prevent damage.

Weird as this looks, this could be a perfectly natural thing to happen to humans. That said, fuck that.

None of us would ever get laid looking like that. And what’s living without fucking?

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[Via The Daily Mail]

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