If you hate dudes wearing skinny jeans, you can feel good about yourself because you have a like-minded ally in ISIS.
The Islamic State terror group has imposed a new law in their stronghold of Raqqa that prohibits young men from wearing skinny jeans, smoking cigarettes and jamming music on cell phones.
Informants living inside the Syrian city tell the anti-ISIS campaign group Raqqa is Being Slaughtered Silently that militants have been throwing civilians behind bars for 10 days at a time if they refuse to comply with the new rules.
While imprisoned, violators will be forced to take an “Islamic course” — and once their sentence ends, they are then required to take an exam assessing what they learned.
Those who pass the test are released immediately. Anyone who fails must pay a fine and stay imprisoned until they can pass.
It should be pointed out that the wearing of skinny jeans is being seen as an acceptance of Western culture. It’s not like ISIS is so concerned about hipster sprawl that it’s waging war on nut-hugging denim.
That’s a fight for a different day.
There’s also the goal of stamping out individualism.
Regardless of your stance on snug-fitting jeans, I think we can all agree that ISIS really has a foolproof system here. There’s zero chance killing innocent people is as bad as an occasional cigarette puff or True Religion size 32.
Their moral compass is surely perfectly calibrated.
After all, it wouldn’t want its members going around and sullying the group’s good name by acting like a member of The Strokes or anything.
Great plan, as always.
[H/T: New York Post]