This whole story is so bizarre, but the best part is the guy who chatted it up with the local Kentucky news. No bullshit, this guy is my favorite person on the Internet today and probably in all of 2016. He’s what the real America is all about: A Dale Jr. hat and a fishing lure tee, just peacefully minding his own business with his chickens when a loaded couple smashes into a utility pole on his property. Except — whoops! — there’s a beehive on the pole, causing a swarm of pissed-off bees to overtake the wrecked car.
According to Gary Lee, it doesn’t sound like the couple ever made it to their swimming hole.
Just because he talks different, I urge you to resist poking fun at Gary Lee. Hard-working, self-sustainable rural farmers like him are what America’s all about — I bet he’s been up since 5am putting in more honest-to-God hard work than any cubicle jockey making six figures a year. People like Gary need to be celebrated more in this country than put down by snarky Internet idiots who barely ever leave their parent’s basement.
I know it’s not really the same thing, but all I can think of is this classic scene from Tommy Boy:
“YOUR FIREARMS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEM!”