— KFC Philippines (@KFCPhilippines) July 4, 2015
You’ve really got to hand it to Kentucky Fried Chicken for pushing the envelope in recent years.
After creating a fucking cult-followed sandwich called the Double-Down a few years back—and then adding a hot dog to a newer version this year—the Colonel and his minions have created something that is so wildly mind-boggling that pizza and fried chicken lovers will be shacking together much more often.
That’s because KFC in the Philippines decided to say, “fuck two, different types of food, we’re going to combine them together and make this glorious dish!”
Well, that “glorious dish” is called the Chizza, which, clearly, is the byproduct of a chicken and a pizza having raunchy, dirty, drunk and/or high sex together.
Instead of sticking with the same, doughy crust that pizza joints have been using for thousands of years, KFC decided that fried chicken is the new way of creating a pizza pie, putting marinara sauce and cheese atop a crispy bird.
OK, so maybe all this really is is a flashy name for a poor man’s Chicken Parmesan. But, who really gives a damn? The thing looks absolutely edible when nearly blackout and stumbling home after missed opportunities with some foreign ass—or maybe that’s just how I envision scarfing this down?