This is Kim Kardashian:
Take note of the vacant expression on her face, the lack of any soul behind her eyes and the shitty looking outfit “designed” by Kanye West that she’s wearing. Got those notes written down? Good. Now look at Jo’Anne Patton:
Big Hair Don’t Care pic.twitter.com/AFIpAPamS9
— Jo-Anne (@Jo_Patton) October 24, 2013
Note the Snooki poof and the oddly crayoned eyebrows, the lack of Yeezy in her outfit and the fact that she’s not nearly as flubby looking as Kim. What, you still think she looks a little like Kim? Okay what about this:
— Jo-Anne (@Jo_Patton) March 13, 2013
— Jo-Anne (@Jo_Patton) March 11, 2013
Alright alright I’m starting to see it now, but instead of Kim she should advertise herself as “Kim Kardashian if she’d gotten hit in the face with a log.” Or maybe even pre-plastic surgery Kim like below:
But what do I know? Jo’Anne’s been making over $38,000 a year part-time (six appearances a month) by selling herself as a Kim Kardashian lookalike, so clearly she’s been doing something right. According to Jo’Anne,
‘For some events, for example a teenager having a Sweet Sixteen or another birthday party, then people pay well into the hundreds for a Kim Kardashian appearance because she is their idol.
‘She’s very popular in that age group because she’s such a good role model’, Miss Patton added.
‘At the moment I have a full time job and do the Kim Kardashian stuff as a side hobby, but now because there’s the appetite out there for her, it’s something I’d really like to do full time and create a business out of it.’
I’m hoping that Jo’Anne was being sarcastic when she said Kim is “a good role model,” because I don’t see how having children idolize a woman who’s famous for getting spunked by Ray J on camera is a good idea. Then again I for one would be insulted if someone told me I looked like Kim Kardashian, whereas Jo’Anne is flattered.
‘I was more insecure when I was growing up and I was bullied at school’, she said.
‘I had acne, I wasn’t in with any of the cool crowd.. So it’s flattering if a few years later you put on some make-up and people tell you that you look like Kim Kardashian when you go out.’
Translation: I like being told I look like Ray J’s personal cum dumpster.
While $38,000 a year part-time is impressive, Jo’Anne also has to blow $1,400 a MONTH on cosmetics and shit in order to maintain her looks, which over the course of a year adds up to $16,800. So really, her gross is more like $21,200 which is still great for a part-time gig, but come on. Would you want to look like Kim Kardashian for $21,200 a year? Not worth it if you ask me.
[H/T Daily Mail]