People Blind Taste Test La Croix Sparkling Water: ‘It Tastes Like Someone Pantsed Me In Front Of Cheerleaders’

Anyone who knows me well and has spent any considerable amount of time around me has undoubtedly seen me complain about the rise of LaCroix over the past few years. I’ve heard a lot of different reasons from people on why they drink this sparkling water, most commonly I’m told that it stops them from snacking all day and keeps them hydrated. But at the end of the day, we all know that this is hipster bullshit.

LaCroix got popular because tastemakers started drinking it and telling everyone how great it is, and its popularity started leaking from cities into the burbs when people would visit places like NYC and see all of the bodegas selling it.

In the process of trying to frame this ‘Blind Taste Testing LaCroix’ video I’ve learned more about this beverage I hate in the past hour than I ever imagined possible. Honestly, I could go interview for a job at LaCroix right now and slam dunk the face-to-face interview because I’ve become such a fucking expert in the past few minutes.

For starters, the common pronunciation of LaCroix as ‘la croy’ is actually the proper and preferred pronunciation. Some people want to stress the French pronunciation of LaCwa, but LaCroix isn’t a French beverage. In fact, it was first created inside of a prison toilet in Wisconsin and the beverage calls La Crosse, Wisconsin home. The name is an amalgam between the town of La Crosse (La) and the St. Croix river.

In total, there are 7 pronunciations of ‘LaCroix’, and all of them are accepted by the company. You can spend endless time on YouTube looking for a LaCroix employee to talk about their product to see how they pronounce it but that’s a fruitless search, just like the beverage taste. Ultimately, it’s a Mid-Western company and Mid-Westerners are willing to stab you if you try and bust out the French pronunciation because the beverage isn’t French, it’s Mid-Western:

I could keep doing this all day, but I’ll instead all you to see this video on the proper pronunciations as well as this other video containing 11 obscure facts about the water.

Just know that if you’re pronouncing it the French way you are technically correct because there are 7 pronunciations, but you should also be investigated by Trump’s government for crimes against America.

(h/t via Ivor Andrew)

Cass Anderson avatar
Cass Anderson is the Editor-in-Chief of BroBible. He covers an array of topics including NFL, Pop Culture, Fishing News, and the Outdoors.