This Devilishly Wicked Tick Is Spreading And Its Bite Can Turn You Into A Vegan

by 2 years ago

There are some pretty terrifying creatures out there in the world, but this evil tick sounds absolutely horrifying. The creature, which can only be a wicked creation of Satan, is called the lone star tick or turkey tick or Amblyomma americanum in fancy science speak. Not only does the lone star tick bite the fuck out of you and gorge on your blood for up to seven days, but it can turn you into a vegan! *GASP* The bite from a lone star tick can give you a life-threatening meat allergy. There’s only one tick who would dare give me a meat allergy… LONE STAR!!!

The lone star tick gets its named because of the white dot or “lone star” on the back of females. The lone star tick was traditionally found in the southeastern United States, but it has recently started to spread rapidly. Cases of lone star tick bites have been as far north as Minnesota and New Hampshire, and on the eastern tip of Long Island, New York.

The CDC labels this fucker as a “very aggressive tick that bites humans.” They add that “lone star tick saliva can be irritating; redness and discomfort at a bite site does not necessarily indicate an infection. The nymph and adult females most frequently bite humans and transmit disease.” The bite from this devilish fuck causes unscratchable itching and hives. Some people begin sweating, followed by stomach cramping, and diarrhea. Some victims have had difficulty breathing causing them to pass out. The unluckiest of victims, who previously loved bacon and burgers, develop a hatred of red meat. The tick’s saliva hijacks the immune system of humans and it alerts the body when a carbohydrate called galactose-alpha-1,3-galactose AKA alpha-gal is consumed. Once the alpha-gal in the red meat is eaten, the body is fooled into thinking it is poison and a dangerous contaminant. Those who were bitten could eat poultry and seafood without issue. How do you know if a person has been bitten by a lone star tick and transformed into a vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

So not only does this vampire bug suck your blood, but it can make you give up meat for good. Only a world so cruel would there be a bug named after the state with arguably the best barbecue on the planet that gives you a meat allergy. Notice there are no insects that bite you and make you allergic to Brussels sprouts, tofu or reality television. Thankfully the meat allergy is fairly uncommon, but who’s willing to take the chance of never eating another juicy steak for the rest of your life. Best to stay inside and eat bacon.


TAGSBugsLone Star TickTicksVegans