A Trail Of Macaroni Salad Lead Police In NY To Arrest Three Idiot Burglars On The Run

by 5 years ago

Three burglars in western New York state were arrested on Sunday after allegedly robbing a Build-A-Burger restaurant and making off with cash, parts of the register, and the establishment’s surveillance system. Oh, and they also took a large-ass bowl of macaroni salad, which they apparently ate while traveling their escape route, inconsiderately leaving a trail of crumbs – à la Hansel & Gretel, but way more stupid – that lead police to follow towards their whereabouts to make arrests.

Three suspects: Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, of Mt. Morris, N.Y., James P. Marullo, 35, of Mt. Morris, N.Y., and Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23, from Idaho, were each charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and fourth-degree grand larceny.

Mount Morris’ Livingston County Police Department took to Facebook to report the baffled heist, and their words were absolute gold.

MOUNT MORRIS: Sheriff Thomas J. Dougherty reports 3 male suspects are in custody following felony charges after a…

Posted by Livingston County Sheriff's Office on Monday, May 11, 2015

The absolute best excerpt?

“Found along the trail were cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and a steady trail of macaroni salad. It was later discovered that the suspects stole a large bowl of macaroni salad, which they took turns eating, along their escape route.”

These three guys are like the Wet Bandits from Home Alone, but even dumber. This has to be up there with the worst ways to get caught by the police ever. Seriously, why do you rob a burger chain and take the MACARONI SALAD!? Macaroni salad sucks, flat out. A horrible food choice. Grab cash and a surveillance system that you’re going to nail onto your trailer? Fine, I respect that. But macaroni fucking salad!? You deserve to be arrested for that alone, fellas.


Could’ve at least taken a few burgers, too! “The Macaroni Bandits.” Have fun living that one down, guys.

[h/t Q13 Fox]