How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You In Under 10 Minutes

People believe in love at first sight. I’m skeptical. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve met people that I’ve been attracted to immediately but love? That’s a fucking stretch.

Social psychologist Arthur Aron believes in love in the first ten minutes. Back in the 1990s, Aron compiled a list of thirty six questions to ask the opposite sex that will, allegedly, make them fall in love with you. Now that the New York Times did a story about Aron and his methods, everyone gives a crap about the questions again.

So how do the questions work? It involves a more questions than a college entrance exam and a long staring contest.

Here’s how it works: You and the object of your affections run through the 36 questions devised by Aron. These go from the relatively mundane, like who you would want at your ideal dinner party, to the more personal — what you value most in a friendship, how you feel about your relationship with your mother, and a particular problem you’re grappling with.

Once you’ve done some mutual soul-searching, the next step is to gaze at each other, without speaking, for a period of four minutes.

Alright, now that you’ve got all that and just want to know “what the fuck are the questions?”, here are Arthur Aron’s 36 questions to make anyone fall in love with you.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”

26. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Alright, now it’s up to you. You’ve just got to get her to talk to you for ten minutes. That’s probably the hard part.

[H/T: Ask Men]

NEXT: How Do I Tell My Girl I Want To Try Pegging?

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.