What? It’s not like just because your last name is Smith, you only eat Smithfield ham. Gotta mix it up.
But Edward Cocaine is a real man, and that’s his real name, and yesterday he was arraigned in (you guessed it) Florida for illegally possessing muscle relaxers.
The presiding judge could scarcely believe it.
“You know, I’d thought I’d seen it all,” [County Judge John “Jay” ] Hurley laughed, shaking his head. “How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?”
All the time, Cocaine said. That’s profiling. Although I guess since he did get caught with drugs, it was justified this time.
Cocaine was released on his own recognizance.
Watch the video here.