Because this story wins 2013 hands-fucking-down. Fuck anything Miley did. This is the year of Andrew Frey. Via Oregon Live:
A bartender told authorities that Frey exposed his genitals and started masturbating at [Iggy's Bar & Grill], officials said. By the time a Marion County deputy arrived on scene, Frey had moved from the bar to the bathroom, but reportedly had not stopped pleasuring himself.
Frey allegedly resisted arrest, forcing the deputy to zap the suspect with a Taser multiple times, officials said. The Taser had no effect on Frey, who then allegedly starting fighting with the deputy, officials said.
At least 15 police officers from Salem, Keizer and Marion County rushed to the bar and were eventually able to take the suspect into custody, officials said.
He admitted to using meth the day before and has no recollection of the events, which is probably for the best.
[Mugshot via Marion County Sheriff's Office]