Man Shoots Friend For Bringing Him Wrong Brand Of Beer, Seems Like A Fun Dude To Party With

Fox 8, New Orleans –A man is accused of shooting his friend because the friend brought him the wrong brand of beer, according to

Clarence Sturdivant, 64, is accused of shooting his 66-year-old neighbor Walter Merrick in the parking lot of an apartment complex in New Orleans on Saturday.

The suspect is accused of asking the victim for a beer and an argument started after the victim brought him a brand he didn’t like.

The victim allegedly returned with a Busch beer – but the suspect prefers Budweiser. An argument about which is better – Busch or Budweiser – reportedly ensued.

The suspect allegedly shot the victim and left. The victim was treated for non-life threatening injuries, according to the report.

Clarence. Let me let you in on some etiquette. If someone is giving you a beer that contains alcohol, you’ll drink whatever they choose to give you with a fucking smile on your face. I don’t care if it’s a half-drank Colt 45 that’s been baking in the Georgia sun since it expired in 1981, if it’s free, it works for me. I don’t know how a guy who would open fire on a friend over something this trivial gets off thinking he’s too high and mighty for Busch. Busch is delicious. I recently drank 22 Busch’s in one day, and I would have put down 23 if I wasn’t puking down my chin. One of the best days of my life. There’s no excuse for you not to be able to guzzle just one.

Now if he brought you Miller High Life, you have evert reason to shoot him down in the street in cold blood. Because that’s just disrespectful.

P.S. This is a golden marketing opportunity for Budweiser. By law, they have to change their slogan to “Beer So Tasty You’ll Shoot a Mother Fucker”. Slam dunk.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.