Jersey Guy Goes On OKCupid Date, Steals Her Car, And His Nickname Should Have Been The First Clue He’s A Douche

okcupid-gooch-stole-car

OKCupid


It’s hilarious. It’s hilarious that I literally just finished writing a post about a dating website that’s incredibly particular about the people they accept and this article pops up.  This is why websites have a vetting process.

Meet The Gooch — a lothario of the lowest common denominator.

According to WABC-TV, the unnamed woman met 53-year-old Gerald Tietz, who was going by the name Gennaro “Gooch” Aladena of Atlantic City, New Jersey, at a sports bar  in Atco, New Jersey, and apparently liked him enough to take him home with her. Unfortunately, the love connection was short-lived given that police say Gooch took off with her 2007 Toyota Solara. All things considered, that 15 percent enemy ranking seems a little conservative. Fortunately, with a vanity license plate like JSRYGRL, the car should have been easy to spot considering that it didn’t take long to arrest Tietz.

If you were going to guess what a man nicknamed “The Gooch” would do on a date, the word “steal” would have to be involved but doesn’t this all sound like a Springsteen song or is it only because it happened in New Jersey? I feel like the Gooch was either in Spirit In The Night or Racing In The Streets. Maybe he worked the fun house in Tunnel Of Love.

Whatever his origin story, I pray we haven’t heard the last of The Gooch.

[Death And Taxes]