Math Teacher Gets So Drunk That She Takes a Cab to School, Continues to Drink Vodka and Sunny D


If I was a math teacher I’d need to show up to work drunk and keep $9 bottle of Fleischmann’s vodka in my desk too. Kathleen Jardine is a math teacher at Poston Butte High School in San Tan Valley, Arizona. Her poison of choice is tiny bottles of two buck chuck and vodka and Sunny D, which she strategically kept locked in her desk like a true habit drinker. 

She might have a drinking problem in the workplace, but at least she’s responsible enough to not get behind the wheel.

Should she be educating America’s youths while heavily intoxicated? No… She did blow a .2. Definitely a good call on taking that cab. See… there’s always a silver-lining. via SF Gate:

An Arizona high school teacher who feared she was too inebriated to drive took a cab to work, then continued drinking throughout the day until students alerted administrators that she was cursing and yelling at them, authorities said Thursday.

The math teacher had a blood-alcohol level of 0.205 percent, which is 2 1/2 times the legal limit for drivers. A school security officer found a bottle of vodka, a bottle of white wine and a bottle of Sunny D orange drink in her classroom. Authorities said Jardine told them she took a taxi to school because she thought she was too intoxicated to drive.

Jardine, of Chandler, was cited with one count of consumption of alcohol in public, but she could also face disorderly conduct charges. After receiving her citation, the 57-year-old was released to her daughter.

This isn’t her first drinking-at-school rodeo, too:

The incident is the second time Jardine has been accused of being intoxicated in class. In 2011, she was fired from a Belen, New Mexico, high school for violating the district’s no-alcohol policy. Belen Schools Superintendent Ron Marquez said students in a math class reported that Jardine was slurring her words and staggering. A school nurse examined her and found her to be under the influence of alcohol. She was immediately fired.


Online court records show Jardine pleaded guilty to driving while intoxicated in Albuquerque in February 2004. She was referred to a treatment program and ordered to undergo alcohol screenings and DWI school.

I always deeply suspected that many math teachers were secretly so miserable that they needed booze to cope with the constant numbers and equations and algorithms floating around in their heads with no practical real-life application. Except for you, Mr. Rhine. You were cool.

But seriously, poor lady. Hope she gets some help.

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