I Hope Your Memorial Day Weekend Was Lit, But Not As Lit As This Dude’s Balls

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Did you have an enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend? Did you drink enough Jim Beam to kill a moose then attempt to hit on females at a bar only to embarrass yourself and your crew because you were so fucked up that you hitting on an upside down mop that was standing in the back of the taproom for two straight hours?

mop

“This chick wouldn’t give me her number, but at least she had lemony fresh breath.”

Or did you spend the weekend at parties roasting wieners? Hopefully you did better than this dude. This fuckwit thought he was real slick by lighting his cigarette with his finger, but then spilled liquid fare all over his crotch (Now it really burns when he pees). They attempt to put out the fire the only way possible, bang cock.

Ramsay, don’t add insult to third degree injuries.

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