We Need Time Travel Now, Because Paleontologists Found Mini Pterodactyls And They Would Make The Perfect Pets
There are lots of good reasons for wanting time travel: preventing 9/11, stopping the Holocaust, inventing Google for your own personal gain, but let’s be honest with ourselves here. All those justifications pale in comparison to owning a pet dinosaur.
If you had the choice between killing Hitler and bringing a dinosaur back from the Triassic, like, someone else is eventually gonna kill Hitler. But first to own a dinosaur? You’d be a hero to the world.
What dinosaur, though? T-Rex is too basic, Stegasaurus too boring, and Velociraptor too risky. Also, most likely none of those would be able to fit in your time machine.
How about a mini-pterosaur? Fuck yea? Fuck yea!
Normally thought to grow to have wingspans of up to 35 feet, one of the largest flying dinosaurs, scientists unearthed a species of tiny pterosaurs. That’s right. Mini-pterodactyls! Like the teacup pig of bird dinosaurs!
(And yes, pterosaur is the scientifically correct nomenclature, but as someone who learned about flying dinosaurs in the 1980s, they will always be pterodactyls to me.)
Look how fucking cute they are.
THAT ONE HAS A EGG IN IT’S MOUTH! A EGG!
These little guys were found near present-day Vancouver, and it’s believed they existed 77 million years ago, in the Late Cretaceous period, so you know where and when to set the dial on your time machine.
Imagine how fucking laid you’d get owning a pet one of those things.
“Come. Meet Ricky. My pet mini-pterosaur.”
Like she’s not gonna come back to your place after that offer.
Get cracking on that time machine.